hello fellows, fellas, and fleas,

i said i would be better about posting regularly and i was not. oh well.
here i am! posting! so here we go!

i started my internship this past monday, which i have come to realize was a bad decision. if i had more forethought regarding what i would be interested in doing this summer, i would've just scheduled to start in the end of july, when we get back from texas.

at the time (as in back in april), i had no plans other than the vacations, so i was fine with starting soon after school let out.

it's a paid internship, so i get $15 an hour, or $120 for every day that i go. i am expected to be there from 8-4, which means i have to leave between 6:30 and 7 (i would rather die than be late) to drive 29.5 miles to elkridge! exciting, right? right.

i don't dislike it, and i'm really happy to have it (especially since it's paid), but i'm kind of sick of it already. i've completed 3 days so far, and oh boy.

on the first day, i got to work, went in, met a couple people, and got given the task of making an excel sheet for everyone to log the projects they are actively working on. no biggie, super easy.

only issue is that this task required that i check in periodically with my boss, who would say, "i like that, it needs this, can you do this?" and whatnot, then he would leave and i would work again for a bit and then check in, yeah?

he left for 5 hours and the only task i had was that spreadsheet, so i ended up wasting quite a bit of time (which i did feel bad about). once he got back, i checked in, got it uploaded for everyone to see, and then got my next task!

put almost every single file from their old server onto a portable drive!

:( dog. why couldn't he have given me that first?

it was 3:15 pm when i started, and i got 5 folders copied, then i skipped the ones he told me to skip, and uploading the second set of folders, it initially said, "30 minutes." lovely. perfect. it'll be done before i leave.

then it changed to saying it would take 3 and a half hours to finish uploading, which was not cool.

it kept switching back and forth, and eventually, it was 4 pm, and still not done, so i paused it, took note of where it stopped, and then went home.

on my way home, i was trying to move over a lane to the right to get into an exit lane (from 195), and there was a guy about 100 ft back or so in that lane. considering it was an exit (and an occasionally busy one at that), he should've been slowing down, and like i said, he was 100 ft behind me.

so i look in my mirror, and i check over my shoulder, and bro is back there, so i start moving over.

not even 4 seconds goes by and i'm halfway in the lane, and he speeds up right next to me, half into the shoulder, and passes by me going 15-20 mph faster (i was already going the speed limit so bro was over (in an exit lane no less!)).

what in the fuck?????? i don't know what spurred this guy to not just accept me getting into the lane in from of him, or why he decided it was worth risking a high-speed crash just to get in front of me, but he did it! and it scared the shit out of me! but i was fine and my car was fine so whatever.

then yesterday, tuesday, i went back to work, checked in with my boss, and got my updated task list! fix the spreadsheet i made to include another column, and then continue on the drive stuff.

so i fix the spreadsheet and continue uploading the files, and then i check in again and he gives me a vague explanation of how he wants the files sorted with the comment, "if you feel lost or overwhelmed and like you can't do it, let me know and i'll get you something else to do."

couldn't be that hard, right?

wrong.

some files are really obvious. steel goes into the steel folder, things that say "code" or "standard" go into code references, OSHA is very clearly an organization that does codes/standards, so easy peasy.

issue is, he didn't make enough folders for the wide variety of files, so i have a bunch of miscellaneous files that i can't sort because they don't fit anywhere. then some of the folders don't really make sense or aren't clear to me, like "bracing."

stuff that relates to bracing goes into the bracing folder! obviously! if only i knew what stuff counted as bracing! if only the internet could actually tell me what kind of stuff is bracing!

also, a bunch of their files make no sense. there are a bunch of duplicates all over the place, there was a folder full of corrupted files (they got ransomware a couple years back and the backup did a woopsie), and they had folders upon folders of emptyness. i open a folder- it has 8 folders in it. i open one of those folders- it has more folders. some of those folders have stuff, some don't, and i had to find out which ones did and didn't!

so i deleted the unneeded folders, i deleted the corrupted files (since these are all copies anyways, not doing anything to their actual server), i got rid of duplicates, you know.

i opened many pdfs, read through them trying to find mention of scaffolding or mast climbers or concrete (or many other things), and if i did, great! send it to the folder! if not, leave it!

there are so many files bro.

same deal as monday, my boss left for like 3 hours, and eventually the day ended and i got to go home!

to tar's house!

so i took a few fun highways over to their house, got to deal with some confusing traffic, the works. all normal on the drive back to my house from their place too.

this morning, i got up at 6 am, like i had for the last couple days, with the difference of me having barely slept last night!

i went to sleep at 11 pm, and i woke up at 1 am! then after a while fell asleep, then woke again at like 1:30, then repeated that process for 2 am, and 3 am, and (not 4 am i don't think) 5 am! i can remember waking up at least 6 times, and i probably slept for a total of 3 hours, maybe 4, over the 7 hours that i tried to sleep.

quite unpleasant, and then i had to go to work.

so i got in my car, miles per gallon still low, and drove to work! uneventfully.

got to work, checked in with my boss, got more instruction for sorting files, this time hearing about "product references" and "technical references."

i do not know what these look like.

my current theory- if it says "product __," then it's product, but if it says "technical __," then technical, right? i hope so.

so i did that for a good bit, and then thought about asking for more guidance, but alas, i am socially anxious, so i did not. right as i was considering going, he leaves his office and says, "i'm heading out!" then leaves.

i figured, oh, i'll just ask him later today!

no. bro left for the day. at 10 am.

ok. sure. so i continue sorting files, hoping i'm correct, was really bored the entire time, wishing it was friday, and i go back and forth between reading pdfs and messing about a bit.

i get completely jumpscared by one of the engineers saying my name and asking if i had seen a specific file, to which i said, "no, where would it be?" and bro said the new drive, but i only work with the files of the old drive, and not even in the old drive, so i said, no, sorry, and bro moves on.

i think one of them accidentally deleted it either on monday or sometime last week, since i snooped quite a bit on each drive and didn't see it. one of the other guys got to work with restoring it, which he apparently knows how to do, so good for them.

like i said, complete jumpscare. had my heart pounding for like 3 minutes afterwards, staring off into space anxiously. totally normal reaction to that.

anyways, i kept doing my file sorting, but that got boring, so then i wrote down a bunch of stuff (relating to the file sorting) on post-it notes for tomorrow morning, and then i made an autocad drawing of a pen that i had on my desk for like 45 minutes. and then it was 3:30 pm, so i was like, ok, back to post-it notes!

looked a little more, read a bit, and eventually it hit 4 pm, so i packed my bag and i left!

saw a train on my way out cuz there's a railroad right next to the parking lot where we park, and that train was really long! like really long! i heard it for like 4-5 minutes straight, and i don't know if it was still going when i turned my car on and left.

fun part now- it's like the 3rd time i've ever made the drive home from my work, since i did it once with my dad, then on monday, then today!

i thought my first (and basically only major) turn was further down the road than it actually was, and missed the turn to get onto 195 east. i realized it as i passed it, and i was thinking, oh, i can just turn around, no biggie, but there were no places to get off this road! no clear places i could safely turn around! no u-turns for me!

also, the road i was on? was merging directly into the BALTIMORE BELTWAY! 695! a road i want nothing to do with!!!!!!!

if i couldn't get off of that road, then i would end up going towards baltimore! and also glen burnie! i do not want to go there! i want to go home!

so i was mad worrying, eventually got to a light where i could turn left, and i went to do a "honey i'm home!" as non would say in a random neighbor and a random person's driveway.

i look left, i look right, and i start backing up, but then a person speeds by behind me so i stop, but then there's a truck and bro stops, and i'm like, i should wait. then bro flashes his hazards or something at me and i realized he wanted me to go, so i backed out and waved at him in thanks (which was really cool of bro to stop for me) and then he passed by.

so now i'm going back towards my exit, not towards 695, and i get close to where i need to turn. google says my turn is close, i see a sign that says 195, so i start going into the lane, then realize it's going west, which is not right, so i panicked and switched back to my original lane (which i felt bad doing cuz i don't wanna be an unpredictable driver but no one was close to me so it was okay).

THEN, i got to the turn i wanted, which was 195 east, and i got on there, and was on the interstate, but i was hella confused. and then i got to the spot where the guy nearly collided with me and i was like "ohhhhhhhh."

then i merged into the exit lane safely, and then i got onto the road i actually needed to be on so i could go home! without going towards glen burnie or baltimore!

and then i drove home and clearly, i made it home, since i'm writing this post right now.

but yeah, i gotta go back to work tomorrow (and i think meet all the other people unfortunately), and then i gotta go back to work on friday, but then it's the weekend! which i am really looking forward to already.

over 3 days of driving (and a trip to and from tar's house on sunday), i have approximately half a tank of gas left. my mpgs are terrible (30.9 as of this evening, twas 30.4 on monday night), and i spent $45 on gas on sunday, which i am in the process of getting refunded for by my parents (thank fuck they're doing that).

yeah, that's pretty much it in terms of the work stuff...

oh, i did also quit my other job!

i used to work for my neighbor at the barn that's vaguely in the direction behind my house (with horses), but i really hated it since horses are like giant toddlers with more attitude and more danger since they're big, and also it gets really hot (i haven't done it during the summer before, but the few times i've gone when it was hot were unbearable), and it means i can't do stuff on wednesday nights or sunday nights.

so my younger sister has taken over doing it and i am no longer responsible for it! i am free. at last. waiting on $80 from working this month still though.

my only issue with having quit is that i don't get an allowance from my parents, and my only semi-regular income is directly attached to my academic performance (i get paid for having good grades, no scaling with AP classes so a B is a B regardless of how hard the class is and i only get paid at the end of each quarter).

if i need stuff like clothes and necessities, i don't have to pay for it obviously, but my siblings get a lot of leeway with spending money on whatever they feel like without paying back my parents, so i tend to be very hesitant to cost extra money (recently i've been costing so much i feel bad).

i will make quite a bit from my internship though, so i'll just have to save part of it and then make whatever i don't put into savings last until the end of next school year (or i guess at least until christmas, assuming that doesn't go terrible wrong (conservative family woo)).

but alas, that is the current state of my job, i will try to find the energy to make another post this weekend about tomorrow and friday's work.

thanks for reading, cheers

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