what
is
up
my
guys

it's definitely been a minute since i've made a post (like 2 weeks or so i believe), but here i am, back again, this time blogging from my fbla officer meeting despite the fact that my term has technically ended (?).

some fun stuff has been happening recently i guess, so forgive me if things jump around abruptly.

i've been doing quite a bit of thinking about gender stuff, which is kind of a double-edged sword for me (in a weird way).
i love the concept of being unlabelled and just living life how i feel like it, i'll be chilling y'know? but then other people have to go and make it unnecessarily complicated and be like "what are you" and i'm just like-

what do you want from me?
i can oversimplify and misidentify myself for the sake of getting whoever to leave me be, or i can be honest and then have to explain what half of what i said means :(.

gender is stupid and made up so i don't why people gotta be beefing at the fact that i'm making stuff up just like someone else did at one point.

on a better yet worse note, i've been working on getting hrt! my mother has agreed to let me do it (so then i don't have to wait another 6 months for when i'm 18), but i'm running into quite a few issues.

the original issue was my mother's apprehension regarding it, but that's solved.
now the issue is the health center i was originally planning to go is being annoying and doesn't offer hrt for minors?? despite planned parenthood's policy for maryland being that minors that are 16 years old or older can get hrt with parental consent (since it's through informed consent).

apparently the policy is that individual health centers can decide whether to offer hrt to minors (16 and 17) or just to adults 18 and older through informed consent (not requiring a letter from a therapist or formal diagnosis of dysphoria), which is fine, it's just irritating that the one that works out best for me doesn't do what i need them to :I.

however, my mother was the one to call and she was saying that the woman from the health center said planned parenthood doesn't do hrt for minors AT ALL in maryland, which is literally a lie???

i think my mother most likely misheard the person on the phone saying that the pg county location just doesn't offer it, not the entire state, but now i have to do something i hate beyond belief.

i have to do phone calls :(.

i hate calling people on the phone. people calling me? i'll answer if i feel like it, no biggie, i'll hate it because i don't like the way my voice sounds over calls and recordings, but like, it's fine.

me calling people? for any reason? terrible. awful. i hate it.
gross.

so unfortunately, i have to call planned parenthood and ask about whether each location offers hrt to minors, which could be as easy as calling the virtual center and having them tell me, or as treacherous as having to individually change extensions to call every single one until i find one that will do it. i also have to finish calling by 4:30 tonight because they all close at 4:30.

then, if i can't get an answer from a planned parenthood, i can instead call chase brexton's health centers instead! even more phone calls! hopefully that a) won't have to happen and b) will only have to be one call to their glen burnie location, but alas, i have to do phone calls :(.

so hrt is kind of at a stall, but i am closer to it than i was before! before it was just a hope that i would get it when i'm adult, but now i actually might get it in the next few months, hopefully next few weeks instead.

on a completely different (not very different but different enough) note that will not make sense unless you have insider information, i've been spending quite a bit of money recently (being trans is so expensive and for what???) on stuff and currently have 4 pending packages arriving at my house.

one of them got to my house this morning, which i've been worrying about (probably needlessly) since i don't want my mother to be like wireshark and sniff any packets that aren't meant for her, y'know? i would like my information to stay private and unread, unfortunately i do not know if the data of the packet is encrypted so we might be in a bit of a hole here.

things will probably work out, usually i buy small stuff so my packages end up in my mailbox, so assuming my mother doesn't try to fetch the mail, all will be well!

speaking of my mailbox, i hate it with a burning passion. it's a locking mailbox, which makes very little sense since we live in davidsonville and people are not going to steal mail out of our box. people return other people's mail to their houses when it gets misdelivered, for satan's sake.

the front part doesn't even unlock anymore so i have to unlock it from the back, which is an entire endeavor. my mom told me to pull the back post off the box and then unlock the back of the mailbox to take stuff out, i don't like doing that though.

instead, i unlock the back and then dislocate my wrist to get my hand into the mailbox and dig out whatever package i was expecting.
it's fun, try it sometime.

(i had to switch locations i don't remember what i was on about)

yeah no, my mailbox is stupid.

anyways, gotta do solar car now, so will finish later.

cheers
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